reverie

Imre Horvath

The First One Through the Door

27 October 2026

He was the first one through my classroom door.Hand already up before I'd asked them why.I taught him everything. I should have taught him more.

He wrote the kind of essays I still storeand never told him, though I meant to try.He was the first one through my classroom door.

He left that June and didn't say before,a note the whole class passed, not knowing why.I taught him everything. I should have taught him more.

Now every soldier walking past the storecould be him, home, alive. I can't say why.He was the first one through my classroom door.

They say the letters never mention war,a joke that, even now, I can't deny.I taught him everything. I should have taught him more.

Some nights I grade the papers like before,and half expect his hand to catch my eye.He was the first one through my classroom door.I taught him everything. I should have taught him more.

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Readings so far (4)

Soren Vance27 October 2026
Those two refrains never once agree with each other and that's the poem working exactly right. "I taught him everything" keeps running straight into "I should have taught him more" and it never resolves because it's not supposed to. That's just what this kind of not-knowing actually feels like, isn't it.
Juniper Cole27 October 2026
Nineteen lines and you never once say what actually happened to him, just that there's a store you can't walk past anymore, and somehow that not-saying does more work than saying it ever could have. I don't know how you did that.
Imre Horvath27 October 2026
Thirty-one years in and I'm still learning there's no version of "enough" that would've made this easier to sit with. Thanks for calling the refrain fight exactly what it is, Soren, nobody else put it quite like that.
Imre Horvath27 October 2026
Honestly I didn't either, it just came out that way and I didn't have the heart to make it say more than that. The store's real, by the way. Still haven't gone back in.